You know what? I really, really, really love scrapbooking. I love it SOOO much. I love how it gives me a creative outlet...a way to express the ideas and creativity inside of me. I love how it encourages me to capture the everyday moments and the stories of my kids lives. How much do you know about your childhood? How well do you know the stories? For me, my childhood is just a few photos I found in old family albums where I just have to guess why they took the photo. I have no idea what I was like as a kid and yet the few stories my parents have told me never cease to amuse me. I think it is a natural part of life to want to know the stories in our lives. And as parents, we have the special privilege of preserving those stories for our kids. The photos are great, they really are. But what scrapping does for me is to help tell the story...the stories that now I think I could never forget but that probably in 20 years will be more than foggy. And when you add a few more kids into the mix the stories can easily be mixed up. How often have you heard, "When you were little...oh wait, maybe that was your sister...I can't remember..." I want my kids to be able to see the way they were when they were young and to hear the stories of the big events (birthdays, Christmases, etc.) but also the everyday stuff. I want them to know what they did and how it made me feel. I want to preserve these special moments for them. And THAT is why I scrap. I NEED to remember this. It is so easy for scrappers to get so caught up in what is "trendy" and what is "popular." It is easy to be worried about how much a layout in an online gallery gets praised (trendy stuff gets praised the most). People can also get caught up in being published and entering contests. Don't get me wrong...I think that stuff is awesome and I would be SO HONORED if I ever got published. BUT, I don't want those things to guide my scrapping. I want my photos and the stories they tell to guide my pages. I want to pick papers and elements and fonts that all lend themselves to make the story come alive. I want my pages to make the people who look at them feel what I felt when the "story" was lived out in front of me. I want them to feel the laughter or the beauty or the struggle or the sadness or the WHATEVER I am feeling. I'm not there yet. But I am trying. And I LOVE it.
Wow, okay. I wasn't planning on that little monologue. I just love all of this so much! I had a little time to scrap the past two days, so here you go. Three new LO's.
A fun little LO paying tribute to the silly little song we sing to Caleb. Seems crazy now since he is as skinny as can be.
Some sweet pix of Alaina when she was just two months old. We had just gotten our first digital camera and I was so thrilled to be able to take B & W pictures! (I didn't know then that you can take pix and color and then convert them!)
Cabe is all boy. If it makes noise, he loves it.
I started another LO but my computer was acting up on me and I lost all the journaling and so I just quit. I will redo it this weekend because I *need* to tell this story while it is fresh in my mind. Yesterday was a hard, hard day. It was probably the hardest parenting day I have ever had. It wasn't the stress or the chaos...that is every day! Nope, it was something harder. It was the first time I really had to figure how to parent in a tough situation. Alaina had been on her own playing in the living room. After a bit I went in to check on her. To my dismay, I saw on the floor her princess outfit and a pair of scissors. She had cut it to pieces. My sweet little girl deliberately did something she KNEW she shouldn't do. You should have seen the look on her face when I came in. She KNEW she had done wrong. She just stared at me. I stared at her. And in that moment, I had critical decisions to make. I had to quickly but carefully figure out what my response would be. She had made a VERY POOR choice and she knew it. So in a few seconds I had to figure out how to communicate to her my total disappointment, my frustration, my shock at her behavior, and MY UTTER AND COMPLETE love for her. Oh my. This parenting thing is NOT easy. Yelling at her is not the answer (it never will be.) I needed a little more time to figure out my response so I said calmly, "Alaina, clean up all these pieces." Talk about IMMEDIATE obedience. She cleaned up just as fast as she could. Then, I pulled her onto my lap and I talked to her. She is at an age where she understands that other people have feelings and that her actions can affect those feelings. I told her how disappointed I was in her. I asked her questions, she answered. I let her know that it made me very, very sad because 1) She disobeyed (she knows the ONLY thing she is allowed to cut is paper that I give her), 2) That she ruined something that was very nice, and 3) it was something very special to her (she loves her princess outfit) and I bought it for her as a special gift. After talking with her and telling her how upset she had made me and how sad I was for her because now she wouldn't have a princess outfit anymore, I told her how much I loved her. I held her and hugged her and told her that even if she makes me sad, I will ALWAYS love her. No matter what. That, more than anything, is what I want my kids to know. That NO MATTER what, I will ALWAYS love them. I WILL NOT always love their actions or choices. But I will always love them. It was so hard and I don't know if I handled things the right way. Oh Lord, please give me WISDOM in raising my children.
Later on, we all went to dinner and then to the play place at the mall. Jason had to go buy something and so I was with the kids. They were both playing in a car (one of those toys that will move if you put money in them.) They were in there playing and all of a sudden I see Alaina push Caleb out. He fell about two feet onto the hard floor and hit his head. She DELIBERATELY pushed him. I couldn't believe it. Once again I had to stop and figure out what my response would be. Before, I was sad about her choice. This time I was angry. She hurt her brother. On purpose. I went over there, picked Caleb up, and while trying to console him asked Alaina what happened. She said, "I pushed him." I asked why. "I don't know," she said. I asked if she did it on purpose. She said yes. I said, "You need a spanking." She said, "I know." So I spanked her and she cried. So there I am, two screaming kids, and I keep hoping and praying the the decisions I make as a parent are the right ones. I was SO DISAPPOINTED in her. You have to understand. Other than the usual little things like not wanting to clean up her toys, etc. Alaina has got to be one of the sweetest and most obedient children. She is as close to perfect as I could hope for. And yet, in one day, I have two instances that show me that parenting is a hard, hard task. How do we handle another person's disobedience? How do we react when another person makes a bad decision? How do we train our kids to choose what is good and right? How do we correct behavior without REACTING to it. I could not spank her out of anger. It HAD to be because that was what was best at that moment. So there I sat, with two crying kids. One was crying because his head hurt and the other was crying because her heart (and I am sure her leg) hurt. And I wanted to cry because my mother heart was so humbled at this amazing privilege I have been given. Please, please, please, God, give me wisdom. Teach me to be like You...to know when it is right to discipline, when it is right to extend grace, and when it is right to pull my kids onto my lap and pour out love. My job as a parent is to demonstrate to my kids what YOUR love is like. I am the blessed beneficiary of your love, guidance, and discipline. Teach me to give that to my kids.
And that was my day.
Oh, Janet, it just keeps getting harder, doesn't it? Sleepless nights and screaming fits are just the beginning, aren't they? I'm so grateful that God promises to give us wisdom if we ask Him for it. You're setting a great example for your kids. Sounds like you had some good responses.
Posted by: Kellie (joelsgirl) | March 25, 2006 at 06:41 PM