Digi Dare #77

I am hosting this weeks dare for the DIGI DARES.  I have been really excited to do this one. Here's the dare...

We don’t always have photos to help us tell the important stories. In fact, I have often found that I don’t tell some of my most memorable stories because I don’t have any photos of the event/person. That shouldn’t stop us!

So, I challenge you to pick a story that you don’t have a photo for and tell it anyway. Perhaps your LO won’t have any photos on it or maybe you can use a stock photo. Regardless of how you tackle it, don’t let the lack of a photo stop you from preserving something special to you.

I think that this is so important.  How many of us have not scrapped a special/important memory because we didn't have any pictures or we didn't have the "perfect" photo.  I find myself always gravitating towards scrapping the great photos and letting all my so-so photos (that may tell the story better) just sit around.  Likewise, if I don't have a photo for the story/event I don't do anything with it.  Some of my most memorable things don't have photos to go with them...but I still want to record and remember.

Here is my LO...this one was one I have wanted to do for a LONG time. I have an email that I wrote my sister years ago that explains more of my heart at the time.  I will clip it to the LO and put them in my album together.

Credits: Stock photo by Amy Pearson at Scrapbook Graphics. SUDDENLY FRESH papers (blended) and elements by Jofia Devoe at the Digi Chick. Cardboard overlays by Linda GB at Scrapartist. Gralpha by Birgit at Catscrap. Frame by Nancy Comelab. Stitching by Lisa Whitney. Fonts are Mom’s Typewriter and CK Ali’s Handwriting.

Journaling: For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. There were times in my life that the desire to be married and to have children was the only thing that kept me alive. I wanted so much to pour all of myself into a child and to give him or her all the love that a little heart could hold.

Jason and I knew that we wanted to start a family fairly soon after we were married. A year seemed ideal to us — some time to just be us and then time to start becoming a family.

Five months after we were married we found out that we were pregnant. Surprised, but by no means disappointed. Just five days later I miscarried…and so began the long journey of waiting…waiting to have someone call me mom.

We waited a few months and then began trying to have a baby. We found out were were pregnant, but lost the baby eight weeks later. Six more months of trying led to pregnancy number three…and just one week later we lost that little one.

It was the most trying time of my life. The agony of losing my children and the pain of seeing what felt like everyone around me getting pregnant shook me to my utter core. I was faced with life’s toughest question — is God still God when bad things happen?

I didn’t understand why God was taking me through this trial. I didn’t understand why God would let me suffer so much. I didn’t understand why I had to WAIT.

It was a refining by fire. And through the flames He never left me (though I often felt like He had.) He was faithful and molded me into a stronger woman with an unshakable assurance in the sovereignty of God.

It has been eight years since that first miscarriage. I am about to become a mother to my fourth child. As I look back on the waiting, I know that before I could be the mom that God wanted me to be that I had to come to grips with the fact that my life is not my own. I am a child of God and I have to be willing to accept His plans for my life…the good and the bad.

The waiting is over, but the lessons have not been forgotten.

*********

In other news, be on the lookout tomorrow for my March Grab Bags.  Between computer issues and just not feeling "up to it," I wasn't sure I would get them done.  But they are and I am hoping to do a little scrapping with them this weekend!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

 

Comments

[Sue]

Wow! Reading your journaling gave me goosebumps! I enjoy reading your blog, and appreciate your spiritual insights. That's very refreshing! I'm looking forward to your latest grab bag. May you have a speedy (but not TOO fast!)and safe delivery--SOON! :)

[jennyg]

Simply beautiful!

[Kresta]

Your journaling is so touching. What a wonderful thing to be able to look back in hindsight on really trying times and realize how it shaped you into more of what God wants you to be. His ways are not our's and we don't always understand, but He is God, and He is good.

I haven't ever experienced miscarriage myself, but have had my heart broken with some dear friends because of their miscarriages and fertility issues. I know it is so hard. What a blessing that you're now on #4 baby!!!

Have a great weekend!

[Laura]

Wow, lovely layout. Having been through my own struggle, I believe that the infertile journey makes us so much stronger, as a person, a couple and even as a parent. Not that I thought all that while I was going through it...
How exciting that Baby #4 should be here soon!

[Heather]

I love your layout. The journaling is so heartfelt and honest. Thank you for being open and vulnerable!
Can't wait for the newest grab bag!
Praying for you and for a wonderful birth!
Heather

[Kara]

Your journaling is wonderful and I love your heart and faith. Blessings to you today, Janet!

[Brooke - in Oregon]

While I have never experienced the loss of a baby, I still felt your journaling to the core of my heart! WOW what a powerful layout, thank you for sharing it. :)

[Jessica]

Congrats on your new baby, so exciting! Life is good. =) This LO is gorgeous! Your candor is refreshing and inspiring. My understanding of God is the most exhilarating paradox I've come across in life: the more I find out that I don't understand about Him, the more in awe I stand at the depth and breadth of all that He is. I suppose that makes no sense at all, but somehow it rests well with me. God Bless you and your family!