(LO done in October 2007, font is my own handwriting, done by Darcy Baldwin, alphas by Rhonna Farrer, papers and swirls by Michelle Coleman)
The Mother's Day service at church yesterday was powerful. The church we attend apparently has some traditional things that they do every Mother's Day. It was amazing to witness and be a part of it. I had tears in my eyes through most of the service.
The first thing they did was a baby dedication. What a great day to dedicate your child...a time to publicly declare your intentions to raise your child to know and love God. As they were interviewing the couples up front, five of the six mentioned that last year they had stood up for the "Mother's Day Prayer." I didn't know what they meant, but I soon found out.
After the child dedication we had the "Prayer of Hannah." In the Old Testament, we read the story of a lady named Hannah who was barren. She prayed (begged) that God would grant her a child. He honored her prayer and she gave birth to a son named Samuel. The pastor had all the couples who were praying that God would open their womb to give them a child stand up so we could pray for them. Couples all over the room stood and had people gather around them and petition God for the children their hearts desire.
It was powerful. Really powerful. I am the mother of four children...four amazing children that have blessed my life immeasurably. But I remember CLEARLY the time in my life when I didn't have kids. I remember the aching, the longing, the deep yearning for a child of my own. I remember the pain and sadness of trying to get pregnant with no success. I remember the tears I shed for the three children I lost to miscarriage. I remember the bitter jealousy I felt towards women who had kids. I remember the isolation I felt because *I* was the one who didn't have kids. I remember the hurt I felt when someone I worked with said to me on my 25th birthday (and still childless), "Oh, you're 25? I had had all my kids by the time I was 25!" I remember it all very clearly.
And so as we prayed for these couples, the tears rolled down my cheeks. My heart ached for them. My hearts knows the pain, and grief, and longing. I know. I remember. I don't take the fact that I now have four children for granted. I know that they are a blessing I don't deserve. I don't know why God has some women wait. I don't know why he lets some women get pregnant only to lose them to miscarriage. I don't know why he lets women who don't want to have kids become pregnant while allowing those who long for a child be barren. I don't know. I don't understand.
So to those of you who have kids...treasure them. Cherish them. They are a blessing from God.
And to those of you still waiting...I feel inadequate to say anything because I have kids...but I encourage you to keep hoping, keep praying. Five of the six couples who were having their children dedicated today did so after praying the prayer of Hannah a year ago. Hold tight to the dream.
After the Prayer of Hannah we had a time of prayer and encouragement for those whose lives had been touched my adoption. Again, a very moving moment.
I just left church feeling so overwhelmed, so blessed, so thankful. I am so happy to be a mother. I am so glad that I have the chance to be a part of raising up these little people. They fill my life with so much joy and laughter.
What a touching post Janet - that service must have been amazing!
Posted by: MandaKay | May 13, 2008 at 01:42 AM
This was so moving to read. Thank you for sharing your LO, the pics of your beautiful children, your witness and the amazing service you were a part of! I remember those feelings all too well myself... It's so wonderful that your church does something so tangible to support those going through that pain now, and to give mothers who know what it's like an opportunity to help in some way. My son Samuel was named for that Bible passage, so I can't think of a better way to pray for women who want to be blessed with children!
Happy (belated) Mother's Day!
Posted by: Karen (makabe) | May 13, 2008 at 03:22 AM
Janet - you inspire me daily and this entry touches me to the very depth of my soul. Yesterday I turned 38 and celebrate MD too...I have two beautiful healthy boys but don't feel as though I'm done having babies and fear carrying another one (my last pg was a bit rough at the end)...I'm going to read the prayer of Hannah now and sending your link to our pastor too. What a beatiful idea. I think all churches should have such a service.
I look forward to your entries daily!
Cheryl
(a church friend of Sally's)
Posted by: Cheryl | May 13, 2008 at 03:38 AM
What a wonderful post Janet. I too remember all too well the feeling of losing a child to miscarriage. It hurts. The wondering when and IF I will ever be able to have one of my own, the WHY. Today I have 2 beautiful children who are my world, my life.
Posted by: Sue | May 13, 2008 at 04:59 AM
Janet, that was beautiful. I went through a very similar experience and echo every word you've written. Thanks for sharing your heart today!
Posted by: Kara | May 13, 2008 at 11:03 AM
What a heartwarming post Janet! I remember dreading Mother's Day church services when all the Mom's would be asked to stand so they could be prayed for. I never had the miscarriages just could never have children by birth. We were blessed to adopt our daughter and my heart always goes out to those who struggle with becoming a Mom! Lovely lovely photos!!!!!!! You have a beautiful family :)
Posted by: Margie S. | May 13, 2008 at 08:46 PM
Extremely touching post Janet (as usual)
LOVE the photos :)
sorry for being such a lurker lately, time is scarce at the moment (as if that will ever change, LOL)
Posted by: Michelle Filo | May 15, 2008 at 02:37 AM