My kids are losing sleep. Three weeks (so far!) of being out of our own home, of having crazy-not-our-normal routines, eating food we wouldn't normally eat at times we wouldn't normally eat, and running around like crazy people is really taking a toll on them. They are TIRED. But the tiredness and the novelty of everything is also winding them up like little rubber bands. They are getting to bed late, waking up early, and bouncing off the walls in between.
It is hardest on Alaina. For the most part, if she deviates more than about half and hour from her normal sleeping routine she is an emotional mess. In her defense, she has been doing remarkably well for how crazy things have been. However, everyone has their limit and last night she broke down. She was a crying, screaming, irrational mess. I had tried to go to bed early and I woke up to loud shrills from my five year old girl who apparently had a rough evening. I came downstairs and she quickly held out her arms and clung tightly to me. I carried her upstairs, got her changed and to the bathroom, then laid her in bed next to me. She was still crying (she couldn't stop) and she could barely speak. She was an emotional WRECK.
I just laid there next to her, thinking about this whole parenting thing. I thought about how she was being ridiculous (I mean come on! Breaking down over not getting your way??) I thought about how she had been disobedient, inconsiderate, and totally selfish. I thought about how she had been spoiled by dad and grandma by being allowed to be up so late and that had the audacity to complain that things didn't go her way. And then I thought, "But that's for another day."
You see, in that moment, my little girl needed ME. She needed to be held tight in the arms of her mama, to be told that she was loved, to be sung to, and to be prayed for. I could have tried to deal with her sin issues -- selfishness and disobedience being at the top of the list -- but she wasn't up for that. That's for another day.
And so it is with God. I am amazed at how utterly patient He is with us. He knows all my sin and issues that I need to deal with, and yet there are days (weeks, months) when He knows that all of that is for another day. Those are the times that He knows that we just need to be wrapped up in His love, to be cared for, to be loved, and to encouraged by His Spirit. He does this through His Word, the Body of Christ, and through the inner peace that only He can provide.
And just like in my instance with Alaina, when we are READY for it, He will deal with our sin. He won't ignore it (like I won't ignore Alaina's.) But He will wait and with His love and tenderness reveal to our hearts areas of our lives that we need to work on. And thankfully, He usually lets us deal with only a few things at at time. All the while, He is there right beside us, holding us tight, and telling us that our burden is His burden. I'll be right there next to Alaina and God will be there right next to me.
So much more to say, that that's for another day...
It is hardest on Alaina. For the most part, if she deviates more than about half and hour from her normal sleeping routine she is an emotional mess. In her defense, she has been doing remarkably well for how crazy things have been. However, everyone has their limit and last night she broke down. She was a crying, screaming, irrational mess. I had tried to go to bed early and I woke up to loud shrills from my five year old girl who apparently had a rough evening. I came downstairs and she quickly held out her arms and clung tightly to me. I carried her upstairs, got her changed and to the bathroom, then laid her in bed next to me. She was still crying (she couldn't stop) and she could barely speak. She was an emotional WRECK.
I just laid there next to her, thinking about this whole parenting thing. I thought about how she was being ridiculous (I mean come on! Breaking down over not getting your way??) I thought about how she had been disobedient, inconsiderate, and totally selfish. I thought about how she had been spoiled by dad and grandma by being allowed to be up so late and that had the audacity to complain that things didn't go her way. And then I thought, "But that's for another day."
You see, in that moment, my little girl needed ME. She needed to be held tight in the arms of her mama, to be told that she was loved, to be sung to, and to be prayed for. I could have tried to deal with her sin issues -- selfishness and disobedience being at the top of the list -- but she wasn't up for that. That's for another day.
And so it is with God. I am amazed at how utterly patient He is with us. He knows all my sin and issues that I need to deal with, and yet there are days (weeks, months) when He knows that all of that is for another day. Those are the times that He knows that we just need to be wrapped up in His love, to be cared for, to be loved, and to encouraged by His Spirit. He does this through His Word, the Body of Christ, and through the inner peace that only He can provide.
And just like in my instance with Alaina, when we are READY for it, He will deal with our sin. He won't ignore it (like I won't ignore Alaina's.) But He will wait and with His love and tenderness reveal to our hearts areas of our lives that we need to work on. And thankfully, He usually lets us deal with only a few things at at time. All the while, He is there right beside us, holding us tight, and telling us that our burden is His burden. I'll be right there next to Alaina and God will be there right next to me.
So much more to say, that that's for another day...
This made me cry. Beautiful!!
Posted by: Laurel Wreath | July 12, 2008 at 02:17 AM
Girl, when you write that book, be sure and let me know, cuz i will want to read it. You have a WAY with words!
Posted by: joelsgirl_Kellie | July 12, 2008 at 03:03 AM
You're a good mommy! It can be easier to feel self-righteous and "discipline" those kids rather than listen to the small voice of God speaking to love them like he loves us. Way to go!
Posted by: Stephanie | July 12, 2008 at 04:14 AM
I'm a lurker on your blog. :) That was absolutely beautiful! Thank you.
Posted by: ima10cow | July 12, 2008 at 05:20 AM
perfect...just what I needed to read!
Posted by: jennyg | July 12, 2008 at 08:40 AM
I just want to say (before you get far away and maybe unreachable) that over the past year, you have made me a better person and, most important, a better parent, just through your writings. Please try to keep them up.
Posted by: Angi Smith | July 12, 2008 at 12:02 PM
awwww, Janet. YOu are an inspiration to all Mamas everywhere! Thank you for this post....I so so SO needed to read this. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Posted by: Rona | July 12, 2008 at 03:20 PM
"I just want to say (before you get far away and maybe unreachable) that over the past year, you have made me a better person and, most important, a better parent, just through your writings. Please try to keep them up."
I just have to second this Janet, and also say, your words have made me a better wife on top of everything else. God has truly gifted you and I just want to encourage you and tell you that it is so apparent that He is really using you to reach probably far more people than you realize.
It seems like everytime I'm dealing with something that just seems overwhelming, I come here and read JUST what I needed to read. Thank you. Thank you so much for taking the time to write these things out, for reminding me of what I so easily forget. You really are just one of the most inspiring people I have ever known.
Posted by: Ashley | July 13, 2008 at 03:54 AM