Songs of Joy

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.  PSALM 126:5

I read that verse last week and it was one of those times that I knew God had it specifically planned for me to read THAT verse on THAT day. I am glad I was obedient in spending time with Him so He could share an amazing truth with me as it relates to parenting.

He is changing my heart about parenting. He is changing my view of the awesome responsibility it is. He is changing the way I approach things and what I think of the process.

Parenting is not supposed to be an easy process.  It isn't supposed to come naturally.  It isn't supposed to be free of trial, struggle, hard days, TEARS.  God never intended that we take on this monumental task all by ourselves!  No number of books, good advice, creative ideas, wonderful models, and common sense can ever replace the wisdom and guidance that He offers. We NEED it...and God KNOWS it.

The parent child relationship is a special one...it is the one He chooses to use to describe His relationship with us. It is a tender balance between love and discipline.  He trains us.  He watches us.  He guides us.  He leads us.  He sees us fall.  He picks us up.  He sees us try to make our own (often very wrong) choices.  He steps in.  He carries us.  He hugs us and holds us and tells us that He loves us.  He convicts us of our wrong, we tell Him we will do better, and He lets us go again. 

Doesn't that sound like a day in your life?  It sure does mine.  Except lately, my days have involved more tears (mine!), busy schedules, impatience (that would mind again), lots of needs, lots of wants, lots of people scurrying about as we call ourselves a family.

And you know, I would get SO frustrated that I was getting frustrated.  I just kept thinking, "I LOVE being a mom so much so why is it so hard sometimes?"  I felt like I wasn't a good mom and even had thoughts of, "I am going to ruin them! They deserve so much better!"  I was getting the point of not knowing what to do.  I was frustrated and tired and I just felt like I didn't have anything to give my children.

And then God stepped in.  He started working on my heart in little ways, and then He set ME on HIS knee and showed me where I has taken a wrong turn.  My methods in parenting were flawed in two major areas:

1) Not understanding that "THOSE WHO SOW IN TEARS WILL REAP IN SONGS OF JOY."  This is supposed to be hard.  This is supposed to try our faith and our beliefs. Parenting is supposed to be something we cannot do on our own. But those they continue on, those who persevere even in the roughest of times, those who refuse to settle for being "good enough" and those who are willing to sacrifice themselves and their life for those of the children He has entrusted to them...those are the ones who will reap in songs of joy.  Everything worth having takes hard work.  And you know what?  We ENJOY things more when we have worked hard for them.

2) Not going to the Source of all the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control that I was (am!) in desperate need of.  My times alone with God and in the Word have been so few and far between.  How in the world did I think I could tackle such a huge task as being a mother without help from Him?  How arrogant is that?  To think that I don't NEED Him or His Word to give me all the things I am lacking in myself.  Of course I never said or even really thought, "I don't need Him."  But my actions sure did.  If someones says over and over that they NEED to lose weight or that they NEED to stop spending money but then never do anything about it -- it shows that they don't really believe deep inside that they need it.  As humans we strive to meet our needs.  And I was NOT striving after God and the fruits that only His Spirit can provide. 

I have been trying to remedy this situation -- and oh the peace it brings!  With a busy family and life there isn't LOTS of time, but even 15 minutes in the morning before the kids get up sets my day right.  It prepares my heart and mind so they are ready when the endless needs and wants come at me from every direction. 

One of the biggest things I have been praying for is PEACE. Peace in my heart and peace in my home.  What better way for peace to enter a home than to ask the PRINCE OF PEACE to be a part of our day...to come into our home and make it His dwelling place.  In the few weeks that I have been praying this I don't think I have raised my voice at my kids even ONCE? Do you know how liberating that feels?  To know that even though I do not have the strength to perform this mighty task of parenting with love, grace, and peace, HE DOES.  And He is willing to fill up what is lacking in us.  How amazing is that??

I'm ready.  I am ready for Him to change me.  I am ready for the PRINCE OF PEACE to reside in my home.  And I am ready to sow in tears so that I may reap in songs of joy.

Comments

[Heather]

Oh Janet- thank you for this post. I really needed to read this bit of encouragement today. And I am going to take your advice and DO something instead of just complaining about it. I am ready for PEACE in my home.

Thank you for living out your walk with us!
Heather

[Christine Smith]

You speak to every Mothers heart. I'm praying for my children, my youngest returned to school today after 10 days home with mono, and my oldest is often challenged with homework battles. I'm frustrated because she is a straight A student, and her grades drop to B, C and D because her assignments are late. Last week I made a big decision- I do NOT want to have a relationship with my 5th grader that is centered around homework! I want more in my relationship with her and not 95% of our time spent on homework, fighting about homework, or punishing her for not doing her homework. I'm done with the Homework Fights. I put this in God's hands, asking Him to help her learn self-discipline. I'm asking Him for patience, kindness and understanding in my relationship with my daughter. Thank you for this post- It touches my heart.

[Joy]

Janet, I cannot begin to express how timely this post was for me. Thank you so much for sharing this very private piece of you. I've heard people say things like "I don't get this "blogging" stuff". For me, this kind of personal peek into someone's else's struggles are what I enjoy about blogs. It helps me to see I am not alone! My struggles are the same struggles others face every day. It is such a help and blessing to know it...in such a real way. Your head knows it, but your heart can trick into believing otherwise.

[anneberit]

Thank you for putting you feelings and faith into words - and for sharing it with us so this can change us as well. It is so easy to forget, in our busy lives, to go to our God for help and courage. So easy to forget that he is the one that can give us all that we need for our day.

[Carolyn]

God has used you (and your blog) to speak to me on so many occasions--and He has done it again with this entry. Thank you for writing words that I am feeling, and words that I needed to hear. May God bless you and give you a peace that passes all understanding!

[Keela]

Oh wow, I soooo needed to read this post RIGHT NOW. Thank you, Janet, for letting God use you to speak to me (and the others that need this too)! :)

[Joanna]

I want to chime in and also say thank you for listening to the prompting that told you to share this. Thank you for reminding me, and teaching me. Thank you for letting God share His message through you - I needed it. I really needed to be reminded of this, and want to thank you for sharing it with me.