It's Not Too Much

Life in our house is busy.  It's full of life and laughter and laundry and dishes and messes and scraped knees, and school work, and cooking, and cleaning, and sword making, and reading, and sickness, and projects, and work, and broken dishes, and muddy paw prints, and lots of little people.  Oh, and lots and lots of coffee.  Probably too much coffee.

Yes, life is busy. And some days, it just seems too busy.  There are some days that seem that too many people need too many things.  I am just one person.  I have not grown octopus arms or eyes in the back of my head. I have not managed omnipresence or omniscience.  I am just human and I get tired, overwhelmed, and frustrated.  I get overlooked, go unnoticed, and often just feel invisible.  And there are those days -- like yesterday (after two straight days of Katelynn having a high fever and two straight days of Katelynn stuck to me like glue and another late day for Jason) that in desperation I just say,

"It is just TOO MUCH!"

Since I  was expecting God's loving arms to wrap around me and say "yes, dear, it is too much," imagine my surprise when God took a "I'm talking to Job type voice" and said,

"It is too much?  Who are you to decide what is too much?  Where did you agree to 'this much' and not anything more?  Where and when did you hear that this parenting thing has a time limit, a stress limit, or a 'little people crawling all over you limit?'  When did I say that your parenting job only applied when you had enough energy or nothing better to do?  Shall I set limits to the needs these precious little ones of Mine are allowed to have?  Should I never allow them to have questions, pain, or wants so that you can 'have a little down time?' Should I have you clock in and clock out to make sure that you don't have to work 'overtime'? How many hours and how much stress are you willing to overtake...because you know, I wouldn't want to overwork you."

Thankfully, I like sarcasm.  And I think God knows sarcasm speaks to me.  I could be the queen of sarcasm if...oh,  I digress.

It was not the answer to my whining that I expected.  But it was exactly what I needed.  You would think that after seven years of parenting and many, many days of being frustrated that so many parents only put in the bare minimum, that I would get this.  You would think that  I would fully understand and embrace that following God's will for my life and being obedient to Him -- which at this time in my life is putting the raising of my kids as one of my top priorities -- means completely dying to myself.  It means that these little people -- whom I have often called "my people group" -- are to be ministered to day and night with all the time, strength, and ability I can muster up.  It means giving all, even unto death (or lack of sleep, frustration, or dishpan hands.) You would think I would get it.  But apparently I'm not quite there yet.  Yesterday's whine fest (even if it was just to myself) was proof of that.

The apostles often ministered to their people groups to the point of death.  Shipwrecks, stoning, torture, persecution. They did it -- not because it was fun, or easy, or what they wanted to do --  but because they were being obedient to a Holy God in Whom they trusted completely.  They trusted that their work was not in vain and even if no one else noticed, even if no one else cared, even if no one else gave a flyin' flip what they did, they trusted that God saw and God understood, and that God would be honored. It was -- and is -- HIS glory at stake.  

I'm not dealing with being tortured or stoned or being left for poor and starving.  I'm just dealing with puppy-chewed toothbrushes, spilled milk, and a table that I could have sworn I asked to be set by someone other than me. However, I am trying to live a life in obedience to a Holy God who told me, in no uncertain terms, that it is not "too much."  There can not be too much compassion or too much wisdom or too much tenderness or too much kindness to offer these little ones.  And no matter what Caleb tells me, I can never say, "I love you" too much.

So today I embrace it...I embrace the high fevers and soiled pants and stained table and unending rain and unanswered questions and and the off-key singing and the dog that just ate all of the treat I just made and love all of those things as much as I love the extra snuggles, sweet kisses, kind words, and pretty pictures hanging on my fridge.

It is not too much.  Parenting doesn't have an end point, a limit, or a "you've done enough" quota.  It is a daily dying to self and a trust in a God Who sees what is done in secret, even unto the least of these.  No, it's not too much.  It is enough.  HE is enough.

_____

And just in case you think I don't know my Father is loving and totally wonderful, I will say this: He is. Since writing this post earlier in the day, He has blessed me with TWO different hour-long stretches of time alone. I got to have my Bible reading during one (which then allows me to use the time after the kids go to bed to be with the hubby) and then later I got to do dishes in total peace with my Hymns album blasting.  It may not seem like much...but getting to wash ALL the dishes without having to turn off the water or my music ONCE is a very, very rare occurrence.  And, strange as I am, I actually enjoy handwashing dishes.  Once I gave up my whining and complaining spirit I was blessed with small things that made a big difference.  He is so good to me.

Comments

[Heather Crawford]

Wow, I really needed to hear that..I don't have four children, but have two and often find myself feeling like this..I am such a whiner..thanks for reminding me not to be..lol..very wise post..

[Lynne-Mare]

Janet, your blog is a wonderful source of inspiration and exhortation for all mothers! After reading several of your posts, I was convicted of several bad parenting habits, which I'm now working to change. You've inspired me to be a better mom and to commit my life to Christ at a deeper level. Thank-you!

[Kellie]

Thanks for being honest with us. :) I'll be praying for you to walk in what you've learned as you go about your day today.

[jennyg]

thank you for sharing!

[Gypsy]

No, but it is a lot. And balance is good. http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/2010/03/taking-care.html

[Garrison]

Thanks a lot for this simple yet very very useful solution.
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