One of the things I asked my family for for Christmas was time to try to get some family pictures. Photos are obviously very important to me, but usually they aren't of all of us and they almost never include me. Now, I don't actually ENJOY having my picture taken but I think that it is so important to be a part of things. When my kids are older and look back through albums I want them to see ME...to see me being a part of them...to see my loving them...to see me with their dad. Someday when I am gone (and I sure hope it is later rather than sooner!) or just far away, I know that photos with me in them will be precious to them. I also want to have more photos of all of the kids together...capturing these fleeting moments in time. The brother-sister relationship is one of the few that lasts a lifetime and I want to preserve the special bond that these kids have.
And so, I asked for the gift of time. Time before the chaos of Christmas morning was in full-force...time when the kids would be themselves and we could just play.
Thankfully, they obliged with no complaints (even though they had yet to open a stocking or gift!) I didn't want to drag everyone out of the house so we had to utilize the space and lighting at our house. The quality of the photos is lacking, but the interaction was captured, and for that I am thankful. I know you won't enjoy these as much as my mama heart does, but I will share anyway...
Sweet Caleb being my light tester as I get the camera, tripod, and timer set up
Sweet Sisters...
Brothers and best buddies...
My four loves....
And some snow...
They love when I tell them it's okay to be goofy...
And time for stuffing little people full of snow...
Find a ribbon hidden within the snow...
Waiting for Santa to come visit... (the camera must have gotten bumped because the couch is chopped off in these...oh well!)
Kisses for kids...
And attacks kisses for mom...
What's that? We see Santa!
Some Santa hugs...
And some Santa cuddles...
And then Mrs. Claus needed some time to prep the turkey and finish up some homemade marshmallows. So Santa and his little elves decided to spread some Christmas cheer to our friends. But first he had to hitch up his sleigh...
And open the pens...
Make sure the elves were on securely...
Be careful about oncoming traffic...
And off they go!
Spreading Christmas cheer... (totally stolen from friends' Facebook pages)
I've had a hard time motivating myself to go through and sort Christmas photos. With lots of other stuff going on...time as a family, cooking, playing with the kids, watching the kids enjoy new toys, being sick, upgrading computer stuff, and just living life, things like going through photos just hasn't made the top of the priority list. But, I don't want to go too long because I really want to remember and savor this year.
Christmas was wonderful! It was just one of those days that I just sat back and watched and thought to myself about a billion times, "I love my family!" Even though I was blessed with some sweet and thoughtful gifts, by far the greatest gift was just being able to be a part of this magical little group of people. I am in total awe of my kids...the way God has designed them each so individually and creatively. Alaina's huge heart, Caleb's incredible enthusiasm, Levi's comical acts, Katie's sweet and sassy antics...I just love them all. And I love a day like Christmas when it is just us and we are all together just sharing time and space. Really, the day was perfect.
And so, as I seek to remember and capture some of the memories (though the deepest ones can never be caught by a camera), I will share. For some reason with me, whether it is photos, thoughts, or words, once I share them others I am able to fully feel their impact. So I share as much for me as for my friends and family.
I'll start with Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve was low key, which I was thankful for. Although shopping and wrapping had been done for a while, there was still quite a bit left on the to-do list. Thankfully, things got checked off one by one and I was very, very grateful for help from Jason and our house helpers. We finished up a special gift for Caleb, made birthday cupcakes for Jesus, decorated cookies for "Santa", baked bread for homemade stuffing, prepared our traditional Christmas Eve dinner, opened a gift from Grandma (with Grandma and Grandpa watching on Skype), sang Happy Birthday to Jesus (and our house helper), filled stockings, and more. It was a long day, but it felt good to go to bed with everything done and ready for the next morning.
Homemade breadsticks to go with our traditional spaghetti dinner
Birthday cupcakes for Jesus (with one given to our dear house helper, whose birthday is on Christmas day).
Getting ready to open a gift and talk to Grandma
Our gift opening always goes youngest to oldest...so Katie starts in.
Four silly kids after opening their Christmas jammies
Getting ready to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus (minus the Christmas jammies, which we were saving from the inevitable icing spillage)
Filling stockings after the kids were in bed (will there every be a year that I won't overestimate what will fit inside a stocking???)
Preparing our "white Christmas" with 10 pounds of cotton batting
I saw this video on another blog today and our whole family got a good laugh out of it! We "only" have four and yet these comments (minus the being Catholic one) are heard ALL. THE. TIME. I still remember when we just had three and we were out playing in our front yard (in the States) and a total stranger stopped their car in front of our house and asked, "Are they ALL yours??" Whenever I hear this comment, the very snarky and sarcastic comments run through my head before answering with a smile and a polite, "Yes."
So from one big(ish) family to other big families...MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And from one big(ish) family to everyone else...MERRY CHRISTMAS (and try to get more creative with your questions!)
Eleven years ago I married my sweet Jason. I have no idea how 11 years happened, but it did. It has been a wild ride and there is no one I would rather be riding with.
We met in the summer of 1996. We were both counseling at the same camp. I didn't think much of him, though I distinctly remember saying to someone,
"He is going to be an amazing father someday!"
And that was it for 1996.
Fast forward two years. It is 1998 and we are both back at camp. I had since travelled to India and knew I wanted to work with kids overseas. He had asked a friend questions about me. A week or so into the summer and we knew things were happening.
It wasn't easy for me. I was scared. I had prayed -- for many years -- that there would be no other men in my life until THE ONE. I had spent four years grieving over a past relationship -- a relationship that when ended, flipped my life upside down and back again. A few times. So my prayer was: no more -- no one until THE ONE. I couldn't risk it again. I love too deeply.
When I heard the words, "I want to work in a second or third world country doing youth ministry" come out of his mouth, I think I knew. As the summer went on, I knew I knew. He was it.
We had a summer together, officially "not together" due to camp rules. Then we had ten days. Then I left to study abroad in Israel for the semester.
Lots and lots of middle of the night phone calls. Scores of emails and letters. Tears shed. Prayers prayed. Wisdom sought.
I arrived back in the States in time for his sister's funeral. We had Thanksgiving and Christmas together. He was job searching -- all over the world. I still had a semester of school to finish. We trusted God. The ONE door that God opened for him was fifteen minutes from my college. We were engaged in February.
Married December 17, 1999.
Since then we have...
Lived in Indiana, India, Colorado Springs, Malaysia, Nebraska, Florida, and Indonesia
Ran a sports department together for three years
Dormparented over 80 kids.
Lost three babies before we met them
Have been blessed with four amazing kids, born in three countries. Soon to be five in four.
Have moved house EVERY SUMMER we have been married
Been through ups, downs, and all arounds.
And through it all, he is still THE ONE.
At our wedding we had an anniversary dance. We played Shania Twain's, "You're Still the One." Even then, I knew there were those who thought we wouldn't make it. We come from two different worlds. But we knew we would make it. We knew that God had brought us together and that He would hold us together. Eleven years. Hoping for at least fifty more.
I could spend a lot of time sharing what I love about him. The list isn't short. But in the end, if I had to just pick one thing, I know what I would choose. I would go back to the first thing I ever thought about him...way back in 1996 when I had absolutely no interest in him:
"He is going to be an amazing father someday!"
Someday is now. He is THE MOST AMAZING FATHER IN THE WORLD. Is he perfect? No. That's good though, since I am far from the perfect mother. But he is amazing because he does the second most important job as a father. Other than pointing his kids to Christ, I believe the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love them in such a way that they never, ever, EVER question that they have a father who loves them. And really, since an earthly father is a tangible example of our Heavenly father, those two jobs are really one in the same, aren't they? A child who never, ever, EVER has to wonder, "Does my father love me? hopefully will never have reason to question the unfailing love of God.
And my kids never, ever, EVER have to wonder if their dad loves them. Every day he demonstrates his love in tangible ways. Our kids may find other faults in him, but I would bet my life (and more) that they will never question his love. And that is the number one reason I love him. There are a billion others, but that is the one that gets me through the "I am so mad at him I could spit" days. That is the one that helps me deal with the socks on the floor, the dishes at the table, and much-too-Asian timetable he runs on. He loves our kids. He loves me.
He is still THE ONE.
From this:
To this:
To my sweet Jason:
I have no idea why you married me and why you still love me. But I am thankful. And even though I don't always say it, and although I don't always show it, I love you more than words could ever say. You are the reason I kept going...even before I knew there was a you. You are the reason that I decided on that fateful day in my freshman dorm room that life WAS worth living. More than anything, I wanted a husband to be with forever and children to love and a life to live. So I chose LIFE and I waited. And then there was you.
I am blessed beyond measure. Our kids are blessed. I hope and pray that our family will be a blessing. I want others to know that it IS possible. When I was a teenager I saw Tom and Joyce walking around camp holding hands and for the first time in my life I thought, "Maybe love and marriage IS possible." I hope that we can one day be that "old" couple still holding hands that inspires others. Because if I have learned anything over the last eleven years, I have learned that true love is possible, even through hard times. Even through miscarriages. Even through fights. Even through dark nights of the soul. Even through four crazy kids. Even through five of MY pregnancies. Through it all, we've made it. After eleven years, you are still THE ONE.
When I first saw you, I saw love And the first time you touched me, I felt love And after all this time, you're still the one I love
Looks like we made it Look how far we've come my baby We mighta took the long way We knew we'd get there someday
They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on We're still together still going strong
(You're still the one) You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one) You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of You're still the one I kiss good night
Ain't nothin' better We beat the odds together I'm glad we didn't listen Look at what we would be missin'
They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on We're still together still going strong
(You're still the one) You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one) You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of You're still the one I kiss good night You're still the one
I'm so glad we made it Look how far we've come my baby
I've learned something about myself in the last few years:
I need to process out loud.
I freely admit that my mind never stops going -- I am always thinking, dreaming, planning, praying, hoping, wishing, and more. I wish I had the magical male ability to just "turn it off." I don't...my mind is always spinning.
However, I have come to realize that my best thinking and processing comes when I do it out loud. I often find when I am talking to someone that words just spill out and I think, "Wow, that is exactly how I feel. I didn't really even know it before now!" Or, "Finally...words that express what I have been thinking." I often find that when I am trying to explain something -- out loud -- to someone, that it makes much more sense than it does rolling around in my noggin. For some reason, my truest thoughts and feeling come out when I am talking. I WISH I could process just as well within the confines of my own mind, but I can't. My lightbulb moments happen as the words flow out of my mouth.
I had one of these moments the other day as I sat chatting with a new friend. We were talking about things like marriage, kids, parenting, pride, and more. We got onto the topic of loving and believing in our kids, and something that I am very passionate about finally found words.
I said something like this:
"As a parent, we often have dreams for our kids. We have things we would like them to be, people we want them to become, goals we hope to see them realize. But kids don't always come out the way we had planned. But that is okay, they come out JUST as God created them to be. Our job as parents is NOT to make them fit the mold we have designed for them, but rather help them be the best fit for the mold that GOD made for them."
I then went on to say,
"For example, perhaps as a parent we are squares. We dream of having square children. And then, much to our surprise, out pops a triangle. Now, we have two choices. Our first choice is to spend our life trying to make this triangle into a square. We can push, pull, prod, probe, and poke, all in an effort to make a square out of something that is clearly NOT a square. We can do this, but I fear we will never succeed, and in the process we will bring a lot of pain and pressure to ourselves and our triangle child. Our second choice is to help this triangle child be the very BEST triangle that he/she can be. We may have a few rough edges to smooth out, we may have to watch for this triangle himself trying to become a square, and we might have to give up a few of our square-shaped dreams, but we as parents can make this triangle shine! If God created our child(ren) to be triangles, why oh why would we try to make them into a square? We need to believe -- and then teach -- our triangle child that God created her to be a triangle and so being a triangle is the BEST thing that she can do."
As I was talking to my friend, I couldn't help but think of my own childhood. I definitely feel like I was a triangle kid who was put into a square mold. People could tell I didn't fit and I always knew I didn't fit. I thought I was an ugly square instead of realizing I was a beauiful triangle. It has taken me well into my adult years to realize my true shape and to celebrate the way God created me. I have rough edges, I sometimes try to remold myself into something I am not, and sometimes I even envy squares. But in the end, I rejoice in how my triangle shape was knit together in my mother's womb.
I also couldn't help but think of my triangle son, Caleb. I love this kid so much. He actually reminds me a lot of me and so I think I have a special soft spot for him. He is defnitely NOT a square kid. He marches to the tune of his own drummer. He struggles in areas that other kids -- "normal" kids -- soar in. However, he soars in areas that most kids never even see. He struggles with reading and writing, he can be very socially unaware, he still has speech struggles, he is obessive and cumpulsive, he is impatient, and he has a very strange love affair with office supplies. But he is also obedient and smart and incredibly creative and pensive and sensitive and loving and deep. I have never seen a kid with a heart as big as his. Every day he asks me how my baby is doing and at prayer time always asks to pray that the baby is doing good. He makes "I love you cards" for people EVERY day. He creates the most amazing cat houses and toys for the cats and he is probably the only kid who has ever made a dumbell set for his stuffed elephant. I love the way his mind works and the creative things he comes up with. He may not be a square, but I LOVE my triangle kid!
I can't wait to see what God does with Caleb (and all the other triangle kids out there). I will not waste my time trying to make him a square. He is a beautiful, bright, shiny, and amazing triangle and I wouldn't have it any other way.
We haven't done a ton of Christmasy activities over here this year. Sure, we've decorated the house, iced cookies, and watched a few Christmas videos, but we haven't done nearly as much as I would if I weren't baby-growing. I was feeling a little guilty so I decided that I wanted to do something fun last Friday. So, we whipped up a batch of playdough...holiday style.
We actually made two batches. We made one gingerbread batch and one peppermint batch. Had I planned ahead, I would have made sure that I actually had things like ginger and ground cloves. But no, it was 100% spur of the moment so we had to make do with what we had. I threw in some cinnamon, nutmeg, a little cocoa to darken the brown, and simmered some whole cloves with the liquid before adding the flour. The result was that our gingerbread playdough wasn't nearly as yummy smelling as I had hoped, but at least the kids still had fun.
The peppermint, on the other hand, was divine. Red playdough + peppermint extract = totally yummy. My hands smelled like peppermint all day! After playing for a while we added some gold glitter for even more holiday fun :)
Making playdough is so easy...I really don't know why I don't do it more often. I've tried a number of recipes over the years. Here is what we used on Friday:
HOMEMADE PLAYDOUGH
2 cups water 1 cup salt 4 teaspoons cream of tartar 4 tablespoons vegetable oil 2 cups flour
In a large pot add the water, coloring, oil, salt, and cream of tarter. Heat gently over mediul low. When the mixture is warm, add the flour and mix well. Keep stirring as the dough thickens. Remove the dough from the pot and let cool. Once cool, knead for a minute or two and it is ready to play with!
Store in zip lock bags in when not in use.
___
I wonder what other fun flavors/smells we could try??
I am TRYING to be better this pregnancy about getting the rest I need. Not just sleep, but actual REST during the day. Meaning, I am trying to take some time each day to sit on the bed with my feet up so that my legs can rest. With Katie's pregnancy I struggled a lot with varicose veins and even ended up once in the emergency room with a possible deep vein thrombosis. My poor aging body just doesn't handle the extra weight and pressure of a baby very well. So, I am trying to be good. However, I get bored very easily and so I have been trying to find things that I can do on my bed for about an hour a day. I've already made a bunch of newborn hats, I am about a third of the way done with a crocheted blanket for the baby, and I have some more projects in the works.
Yesterday I finally got around to a project I have been meaning to do for a while -- hair bows for Katie. Now Katie doesn't have much hair, but what she does have needs to be contained. I don't do bangs on my girls so I have to find ways to pull their hair back. Katie's is too short for a pony tail, so little "water spurts" are what she usually gets. Regular tied ribbons tend to fall out, so I wanted something that would stay a little better. I googled some and came across a few tutorials and I merged them (and the materials I had on hand) into this:
They are super simple! You need two felt pieces, one that is 5.5 cm x 3.5cm and one that is 3.5 cm x 1 cm. You also need a needle and thread, a french clip (mine are about 1.5 inches), and either scissors or a rotary cutter. Can I just say for a second how much I LOVE my rotary cutter. It is a new item for me and I have no idea how I lived so long without one. It makes cutting fabric and felt SO much easier. I can't recommend one highly enough (though you do need the self-healing mat and the the ruler overlay thing to go with it...but again, TOTALLY worth it!)
First, take your larger piece of felt and do a quick running stitch, up and down, at the center point of your felt.
You can see it better on this one:
When you have done that, pull lightly on the end of the thread to "scrunch" your felt up.
Next, take the smaller piece of felt and wrap it around the bow piece and into the french clip
Sew the ends of the small piece of felt together to secure it all to the clip
And voila! You are done! I made 6 sets of two and I think I had them all done in less than an hour.
Now I just need to take a picture of Katie wearing them! She looks SO SWEET!
As I said in an earlier post, we don't really "do" Santa. Meaning, we don't try to convince our kids that he is REAL or lead them to believe that there is a jolly 'ol man that brings them gifts or fills their stockings. That said, Santa can be a fun part of Christmas...no different than balloons on birthdays and turkeys on Thanksgiving.
I have been wanting to do some fun -- but different -- kind of Christmas pictures with the kids. I begged one of the talented ladies at the Sweet Shoppe (where I sell my designs) to make a set of Christmas "photo booth" props. With lightning speed, they were done and so the kids and I had some fun. I want to do some more of these -- perhaps even with me in them -- but our first run with them has made me very happy! Get your own and make some fun family memories!
Last week, as I was trying to patiently wait to indulge in Thanksgiving yumminess, I indulged my dangerous habit of reading food blogs. The number of amazing recipes is just mind-boggling! There is so much to be found...so much to be made...so much to be eaten.
Upon my perusal, I cam across this incredible recipe. Mmmm...s'more pie. It sounded incredible...a graham cracker crust, roasted almonds, smooth chocolate, and marshmallow topping. Really, how could I resist? I thought about this pie for days before I finally got around to making it (really, I was waiting on the chance to get to the store so I could buy heavy cream). On the day I finally decided to give it a go, I was so excited. I knew I didn't have everything that the recipe called for, but I figured I could substitute (such is life overseas). In the end, I only sort of followed the recipe. But it was still amazing!
Here is what I had to substitute/change:
We can't get graham crackers here, but we can get a local cookie that has a somewhat similar flavor (Sari Gandum Digestive Biscuits for any of my expat friends)
I didn't have any bittersweet chocolate (though I had had good intentions of going to a specialty baking store where I have seen it). I figured dark chocolate would do the trick!
I didn't have bittersweet chocolate chips, either. My standby mini chips were fine
The marshmallow topping: I didn't follow this part of the recipe at all. I had planned to, but time was getting low and I knew I already had homemade marshmallow fluff already made and in the fridge. I'll try the "real" recipe next time. I also didn't try to burn the top...I just threw some "graham cracker" crumbs and mini chocolate chips on top.
Even though I only sort of followed the recipe, it was fabulous. I loved it. The chocolate layer filled up more of the pie than I had anticipated so there wasn't as much room for the marshmallows. I will account for that next time. But this pie was so, so good. I craved it for days. I ate it for breakfast for three days straight. It will be made again. Mmmm....
I saw this on a blog last week, and thought it was fun. So, here is everything you wanted (or didn't want) to know about me and Christmas:
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate, definitely. I think egg nog is gross.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Well, we don't really "do" Santa around here. Jason dresses up as Santa but the kids know it is dad and that Santa is just a fun part of Christmas. We have never tried to get them to believe that Santa is real. We just feel that no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, we won't ever lie to our kids or lead them to believe in something that isn't true. That said, it really depends on the gifts. If the gifts are small enough, they are wrapped. If they are something big (like bikes), they get set out. The kids know they are all from us (including stockings). I didn't believe in Santa growing up but we still had "Santa gifts" (which was just another way of talking about our big gifts).
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White, white, white. I am so selfish in this regard. Jason (and most likely the kids) would love colored lights but I hate them with a passion. I think, if I remember correctly though, that we did compromise last year and put colored lights on the small tree in our school room.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? We used to. Hmmm...wonder where it went??
5. When do you put your decorations up? Depends on when I feel motivated. Usually, sometime the week after Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Stuffing. Mmmm....
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Sitting at the top of the stairs with all my siblings waiting for the parental units to say we could come downstairs (we knew full well that they were filling our stockings). When we got the go word, we would all run down as fast as we could and look at all our Santa gifts.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I have no recollection of ever believing in Santa. I might have, but if I did, it stopped at a very young age. Maybe it was because I was such a snoop and usually found all of my gifts long before Christmas.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? As a kid I did. Actually, I think that we often started a few days before Christmas (we had a LOT of gifts). With our kids, yes, we open one gift on Christmas Eve. It is always new Christmas jammies.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? The kids get out all the ornaments and put them everywhere (with the little kids hanging them all on the bottom.) Later I go back and tidy things up a bit. We have an assortment of ornaments -- a few from when Jason and I were kids, a few we have collected over the years, and the small (but growing) collection of the kids ornaments. We buy them a new one each year so that when they move out of the house, they have a small assortment to start with.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Well, since we live a few degrees off the equator, this is a moot point. However, I did grow up in Michigan so I have a few thoughts. I LOVE snow on Christmas morning when it is falling in huge flakes outside my window and I am cuddled up inside with hot coffee. I HATE snow when the gift opening is over and I have to go out in it.
However, I am in love with our white Christmas here in Indonesia (aka 10 lbs of white cotton batting). Makes for a fun (and warm) morning!
12. Can you ice skate? Sure, but not very well.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Nothing stands out.
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? This is definitely two-fold for me. I love the purposeful thoughts pointed towards Christ and His sacrifice to be born into this world. This was huge for me when I was 8 months pregnant with Alaina and gearing up for giving birth in India. I reminded myself that if Christ could arrive in a barn and be put into a feeding trough, then a hospital in India was good enough for me. The second important thing about Christmas is the feelings of tradition and family. I love times that bring us together as a family and I love building memories.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? I am usually far too full from the main meal to eat dessert. I don't think we ever even had dessert growing up. But I DO love peanut brittle around the holidays (and have been hoarding the sometimes-hard-to-find-in-Indonesia corn syrup so that I can make it this year).
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Right now I love that our kids are still young and the traditions are still in the making. But, if I had to pick an existing one, I know I would never give up spaghetti on Christmas Eve. I know it sounds weird, but I have had it every year since I was a kid.
17. What tops your tree? A star (that each kid takes a turn putting on).
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Giving, definitely. I love the planning and giving of gifts, especially when I know the person can see the love I put into it. I don't like giving when I know the person won't like it (or anything) anyway...then it is just obligation.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night. By far. I LOVE it. I even had my bridesmaids walk down the aisle to it (I was married at 7pm one week before Christmas). I think my bridesmaids had more fun dancing to Cotton Eyed Joe at the reception.
(You are quite welcome, Lindy and Ada!)
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? I like the fruity flavored ones. Does that count?
21 Favorite Christmas Show? Miracle on 24th Street (the 1994 remake).
