The Well Rounded Mama

It's Our Job

We have a high calling as parents.  We are charged with loving, caring for, protecting, teaching, discipling, disciplining, correcting, training, and modeling for our kids. These are not things that will just happen "naturally."  To do this well means an intentional and purposeful approach to each child, each and every day.  It is a serious task and not one I want to take lightly.

My heart is so burdened about this issue and I am amazed at what God continues to teach me each day. I am learning and growing and asking questions and reading and praying and thinking and trying and falling before the Lord begging for wisdom. He has been faithful and while we are far from perfect parents, I feel that we are on the right track. At least we know where we want to be.

I want to share some of these thoughts as I sort them out in my head and my heart, but for today, I just want to share a link to something I read yesterday.  This is a perfect example of why we need to take this parenting thing seriously and to realize that parenting, and especially Christian parenting, is OUR job. It is OUR responsibility. It is OUR calling.  It isn't the school, church, or community who has been charged with this task.  It is us.  It is mom and dad. School, church, and community -- when used appropriately -- can aide us as parents but it cannot and should not be used as a means of doing our job for us.  My church will not be asked to give an account for how my children were raised.  My school will not asked to give an account.  My community will not be questioned by the Lord.  It will be me.  It will be Jason. And that just drives me to my knees begging for more wisdom and more love and more patience and more of HIM.

Saddest Letter I've Ever Read

ETA: Here is the First Response to the letter, written by the man who received the letter.  He states that this is Part 1 of 3 in his response. It was very well written. I look forward to reading Part 2 and 3. 

If I Were In Charge of Pregnancy...

...I would make up a few new rules.

 

1. Pregnancy should last one month less...because the last month TAKES FOREVER.

2. When the maternity clothes start being uncomfortable, it's time for baby to come out.

3. If any pregnant woman is still throwing up at 36 weeks, she should be rewarded with an early and easy delivery.  Or better yet, I'd just get rid of throwing up altogether (but I will still take the early and easy delivery).

4. If there is cramping, back pain, and daily contractions, birth should immediately follow.

5. There should be monetary or culinary rewards directly proportionate to the number of times a pregnant wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom...or simply to turn over.

 

You know, if I were in charge of pregnancy.

 

___

 

On a more serious note, though, these really aren't the hardest parts of pregnancy for me.  Yes, life is uncomfortable.  Yes, I spent the first 24 weeks throwing up multiple times a day and then "dropped down" to a few times a week for the remainder of my pregnancy.  Yes, all my babies have been posterior so I get lovely back pain and due to so many babies, they sit very low and cause all sorts of circulation problems.  Yes, it hurts to walk around, get out of bed, and pick up my kids.  Yes, I make such a lovely home inside my womb that not one of my babies has even considered coming out early. But those aren't the worst part.

 

The worst part is that I just can't be who I want to be or do what I want to do.  I can't get on the floor and play with my kids.  I can't get up early to cook breakfast for my family.  I can't spin and play and twirl with my little girl. I can't have all the kids on my lap while I read to them (though can I say that I am proud of myself that I can be this pregnant and still get four kids on the motorbike??) I can't make my energy last all the way until Jason gets home and I hate that I have to give him 100% of kid duty just so I can get dinner made.  I can't have people over as often as I would like, and when I do, I have to go the easy route and skip the fun parts like making dessert. These things...not being able to be the wife and mother that I want to be, are by far the hardest parts of being pregnant.

I know my husband understands (and he never, ever complains).  I know my kids even understand and really, they don't complain either.  I know it is important for the little one still inside me that I rest and try not to do so much.  I know that this is just for a time and that soon enough, life will be back to "normal" and I can go back to doing all the things I love and all the things I need to be doing. 

But for now, I wrestle with sadness and guilt and longing.

 

I really hope these four weeks go by fast.

A Little Bit of Face Paint...

...goes a long way.

 

We've been known to let our kids go a little crazy sometimes. It's controlled chaos, but still chaos. Sure, it makes a mess but the giggles and the memories are so worth it.  My kids often bring up our first spaghetti party, whipped cream slip 'n slide, and decorating cookies. I can think of a lot worse ways to spend our time. Yesterday was one of those memory building moments that I am sure will be asked to be repeated.

 

It started with spirit week at school.  Tuesday was "crazy facial hair day" and Alaina wanted me to paint on a mustache for her. At the last minute, she decided she was a bit too embarrassed and decided to just bring the face paint to school and see if the other kids in her class had done anything first (oh this girl is sometimes so much like me!)

Turns out that she didn't wear her mustache at school but when she got home, she still had the face paint pen and was itching to do something with it.  She asked if she could paint herself and I said, "Sure, go ahead."  She came out of the bathroom about 15 minutes later looking like this:

A bit later dad and the other kids got home from running errands and wanted in on the action. I decided I would be much happier taking photos and working on dinner.

 

Dad is a much better sport than I am...

 

He then returned the favor...

 

They also helped each other...

 

And they helped themselves...

 

And they looked so cute...

 

They declared themselves African tribal villagers.

And the best part?  It only took a whole pack of baby wipes + 30 minutes in the shower to get everyone clean. Well, except the black paint from Katie's "glasses" that I found still hiding behind her ear during Bible time.

Today...

Outside my window…A beautiful sunset

I am thinking… How ready I am to meet this new baby of mine and soak up all of her loveliness.

I am thankful for…A husband who regularly takes all four kids out so this 36 week pregnant woman can rest and have a bit of quiet.

From the learning rooms…Caleb spent quite a bit of time yesterday and today making a parachute.  He was inspired by twos recent episodes of the Duggars -- when Jessa went sky diving and when the family visited Voice of the Martyrs and made parachutes to drop into Colombia.  He used a plastic grocery bag, tied strings on it, and then cut out two cardboard people that are labeled "Jessa" and "Parachute Guy."  He then zip tied the two people together and launched them off his bed.  He is currently writing a letter to Jessa Duggar that will accompany his parachute that he plans to send to "Oh...what's that country...I mean state called?  Oh, Arkansas."

From the kitchen…Fresh peanut butter cookies (I won't admit to how many I ate) and fresh homemade macaroni and cheese.

I am wearing…Maternity clothes that are no longer comfortable.  I vote that when the maternity clothes stop being comfortable, it's time for baby to come out!

I am creating…A life for my kids. On days when it feels like I haven't accomplished anything, I am reminded at the great work that is going on on a daily basis in our home.

I am going…to finally try to get my taxes done this week.

I am reading…Just finished two books: Radical by David Platt (I've had this for a while but then my Kindle broke and we just got our replacement last month) and The Duggars: 20 and Counting.  I debated about the Duggar book, fearing poor writing and redundancy from the show, but I needed an easy read and this proved to be it (I read it in less than 24 hours).  It was better than I expected and even gave me a few ideas. Still reading The Mission of Motherhood (meeting once a week to discuss it with a friend) and getting ready to start Crazy Love. Also, still in deep with The Bible in 90 days.

I am hoping…For baby.  Sorry, this will probably be the case for the next 4+ weeks.

I am hearing…Nothing except a tiny little dog snoring next to me.

Around the house…Little reminders of little people.

One of my favorite things…Quiet.  Oh the bliss. I LOVE having a big family but for this introvert and easily-overstimulated mama, quiet is so soothing to my soul.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Taxes, a fun scrapbooking project, and digging out the crib and bouncy seats.

Here is picture I am sharing…This is me, three years ago tomorrow.  I basically look the same now.  I should take another one in that same outfit.

Lucy Lovin'

If it isn't obvious, we are quite smitten with our new little girl. The kids just adore her and ALWAYS want to be with her.  And I have to admit, I really like her too and I spoil her more than I should. She takes over my bed at night and I don't move her.  She tries to sleep ON my neck and I sometimes let her.  She begs to sit on my lap ALL. DAY. LONG. and I usually give in.  She's just so sweet and she is definitely helping me pass the time until my other little lady arrives.  So, for your viewing pleasure, a whole lot of Lucy Lovin'...

 

We love her...

 

...when we play at the park

 

...when we watch the Duggars on mama's bed

 

...when she gives in and takes a nap alone

 

...when she goes for a ride in the bike

 

...when we go to school at watch Daddy teach P.E.

 

 

...when we play on the school playground

 

...when she hams it up for the camera

 

...when we kiss her goodbye before class

 

...when we watch a DVD

 

...when we play in the front yard (in our jammies at 2 in the afternoon!)

 

...when we want a quick cuddle

 

...when we are trying to take pictures of her and she comes running over and cuddles on our leg

 

...when she gets to sleep on our new bedding before we do

 

...when we get kisses before bed

 

...when we hang out in the afternoons waiting for Daddy to get home

 

...when we aren't quite awake in the morning

 

...and even when Tom and Jerry is playing.

 

The only time we DON'T love her is when we realize we should have taken the warnings that Pugs are hard to house train more seriously.  At least we have tile floors, right?

Scrapping...

I don't post much about scrapping anymore.

 

Scrapping is is actually why I started this blog.  Back in early 2006, all the scrappers I knew had a blog, so I started this site and it was almost all about scrapping. I shared layouts, scrapping news, and all about products I was creating.  And then for some reason I just stopped sharing. I am not sure why.  My love for scrapping is as strong as it ever was.  I may not do it as often, but I still love it and I love creating and sharing pages with my family.

 

I was actually surprised, though, to find that even though I don't feel like I scrap very much, I still accomplish quite a bit.  Some of that may be due to the fact that I tend to scrap in bulk.  I'll scrap a number of pages in one morning and then won't do any more for another week.  But it still adds up.  I just uploaded a bunch of layouts last week for offsite storage and for printing and was fairly shocked to see that in the past year I have scrapped about 200 pages.  Sure, a lot of them are 2 page layouts, but still...200 isn't so shabby.

 

I love the world that scrapping opened up to me.  I love how it helped me discover my creative side and helped me find an outlet for my heart. I have met such amazing people...both on and offline...and I have had some amazing experiences and opportunities. It's been almost six years and I still love it. 

 

Here are a few recent pages (I usually try to post layouts in the digital scrapbooking album to the left, even if I don't "officially" share them on the blog.) And as you can see, I definitely do not scrap in order!

Click to see them larger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep...I still love it.

I Didn't Know There Was a Word for Someone Like Me

 

I woke up late this morning.  Well, late for me.  It was six o'clock and it was already light out and the rest of the family was already awake.  Late, definitely.

I like my quiet mornings.  I like waking up slowly, with the sun, and enjoying my hot coffee and the anticipation of the day ahead.  My mind starts turning, slowly, and I usually use the time to do fairly mindless things like read email and blog posts.  My "quiet time," in the sense of time with God, has to happen later when I am more fully awake.

So as I tried to let the coffee work its wonders and the kids swirled around me in their flurry of early morning activity, I read the normal not-so-important stuff.  And then I read something that did far more to jolt me awake than my coffee every could.  I read that there is a word for someone like me.

Shaun Groves, a musician, song-writer, and advocate and speaker for Compassion International, wrote a post titled, "Awake My Soul."  He used a word I have never heard before: ruminator. This is what he had to say:

A good many of us do-gooders can’t keep our minds from wandering through the world’s problems, can’t seem to stay fully present. Stopping to laugh or play or sit silently seems like a waste of time sometimes when I consider the never-ending list of things to get done, to fix, to fight and fight for.

There was a study in Denmark – I think it was – that found ruminators are much more likely to be mentally ill at some point in their life. Depression. Anxiety. Breakdown. A ruminator dwells on a thought, replaying it again and again, usually a negative thought: fear, worry, regret, a problem to be solved...

Constant thought. No peace. And it piles up and eventually the mind crumbles under the weight, the emotions fray, the circuits break.

Ruminators are inventors, theologians, philosophers and writers. Sure. Sure. But they’ll also cut off their ear.

 

Never have I heard a word that described me so well. Oddly enough, it brings me comfort to know that there is a word for someone like me and I am not the only one out there to whom it pertains. I love that I am deep and passionate and pensive but I don't always like what it does to me.  I don't like the weight it places on me and the helplessness I often feel.  To quote a T.V. line, "There are simple girls, and then there's....well...me."

And if Mr. Grove's blog post wasn't enlightening enough, he goes on to give an answer to the weight: to notice.  To notice the small and beautiful and amazing things around me every day.  I think that is why I find such release and pleasure in photography and scrapbooking.  They make me stop and notice.  I see the small, seemingly insignificant sites and moments and see the magic that is within them.  When I stop to enjoy the beauty of flowers, the crooked smile on a child's face, the wonder of innocent questions, the creative design of a leaf, the miraculous way a life grows inside of me...when I enjoy these, I realize once again how big my God is and if He can clothe the lilies of the field and feed the birds of the air, He can surely move the mountains in the world and in my life.

So today, I took a little longer on my walk to appreciate the beauty of creation.  I let my camera capture the feelings in my heart.  I said "yes" more to little people asking to play. I hugged my two year old a little longer and watched more minutes of Dora than I would have cared to. I soaked in the sunshine with a little more purpose and gazed at the mountains a little longer.

There's a word for someone like me, and that makes me happy.

One of Those Quotes that Sticks With You

 

"We don't believe something by merely saying we believe it, or even when we believe that we believe it. We believe something when we act as if it were true." - Dallas Willard

 

I read this quote a few months back. It was simultaneously life-giving and haunting.  Life-giving, because it put into words feelings and frustrations in my heart that I had long since been wrestling with.  Haunting because one quick look at my life made me admit where some of my real beliefs lie.

 

If this is true, and I believe that for the most part it is (I say most part, because human sin, ignorance, and selfishness can get in the way of even the truest of intentions), then what does it mean for...

 

...how I care for my children?

...the way I love my husband?

...loving my neighbor as myself?

...the treasures I am storing up?

...homeschooling?

...raising world-focused children?

....adoption?

...orphan care?

...trust in God's provision for today and for the future?

...personal health?

...developing character and integrity in my kids?

...being salt and light in the world?

...hospitality?

...loving the unlovable?

...forgiving those who have wronged me?

...recognizing that the call in the Christian life is NOT for comfort and convenience, but a call to die to self?

 

 

Lots going on in my mind and my heart. When I feel overwhelmed, I just go back to my word of the year and start digging the The Word. There is life and beauty and freedom there, even in the midst of my confusion, longings, and big, big dreams.

 

 

And the photo?  My desktop image for the past two years (from kenyakidscan.org). Just one tangible reminder of the need to live out what I believe.

Is That a Ladybug?

 

We've had sickness at our house for four weeks.  Four weeks.  We get over something and then someone else comes down with something new. We've been cooped up and struggling to get through each day.  So this afternoon, although we are all far from 100%, we decided to get out of the house.  It was going to be hours before Jason arrived home and the kids and I needed out. So, we headed for ice cream and then to the pool.

The kids had a great time. We had the pool to ourselves and the kids enjoyed a rare sunny afternoon swimming, sliding, and just being together.  I was sitting on the edge of the pool watching and taking photos when Caleb and I saw a bug.

 

The conversation went like this:

Caleb: "Is that a ladybug?"

Me: "No, it's not."

 

Caleb: "What kind of bug is it?"

Me: "I don't know, buddy."

 

Caleb: "Well, maybe it's a ladybug."

Me: "I really don't think so."

Caleb: "Then what is it?"

Me: "I don't know. Maybe we can try to find out when we get home."

Caleb: "Can we take it home?"

Me: "Not today...we don't have anything to put it in."

Caleb: "Next time we come can we bring the ladybug home?"

Me: "Well, I don't think it's a ladybug, but sure, if we see it again and we have something we can use to carry it in, we can bring it home."

 

Caleb: "Do some ladybugs look like that?"

Me: "No, Cabe, I don't think so."

Caleb: "Yea, ladybugs have spots, not stripes."

Me: "You're right, buddy."

Caleb: "So what kind of bug is this?"

Me: "I really don't know."

 

Caleb: "Well, maybe it's a ladybug."

 

Words to Live By

 

The month before I delivered Alaina, I was staying in the home of a single gal in a town about six hours from where we lived.  We were in India, and for various reasons, decided to give birth in a bigger city than where we lived.  Since Alaina was due at the end our long Christmas break and it didn't interfere with our work responsibilities to be gone, on the day after Christmas we made the trek to Bangalore and spent a month waiting for the arrival of our first child.

 

That month was one of the best of my life.  Never have I had a time in my life where the only thing I had to do was...nothing.  We were just waiting.  We had no work, no responsibilities, and no agenda. So, we spent the month resting, relaxing, and doing lots and lots of reading. My spirit and soul were so incredibly refreshed and I often think back to that blessed month and I am ever so thankful for the lasting results.

Five years before, while studying in Israel for the semester, I first read the life-changing book, A Chance to Die.  It is the biography of Amy Carmichael, written by Elisabeth Elliot. Amy lived and worked in India and opened a children's home, first to kids rescued from template prostitution and later on to other kids in need of a safe place to live.  To this day this book continues to shape and refine me. During that month of waiting for Alaina to arrive, I read a lot about Amy Carmichael.  I read books by her and I read books about her.  I needed to fuel my heart and to realize that holy living is possible and to see someone striving for it. I knew it was what I wanted and I knew I was far, far from it.

 

My copy of A Chance to Die has been dog-eared and underlined to death. The words light a fire under me.  One of the many, many quotes that I have meditated on that month was this:

 

'These children are dear to Me. Be a mother to them, and more than a mother. Watch over them tenderly, be just and kind. If thy heart is not large enough to embrace them, I will enlarge it after a pattern of my own. If these children are docile and obedient, bless Me for it; if they are froward, call upon Me for help; If they weary thee, I will be thy consolation; if thou sink under thy burden, I will be thy Reward.'"

 

I wrote those words down on an index card and placed it in my Bible.  It has remained there these past eight years.  It is the reminder I need...always.

This quote captures the realness of being a mother.  Some days are good...so good and so sweet and so refreshing.  Other days are hard...so hard, so exhausting, so humbling.  But in either case, God is who we need to turn to. He is the strength, the motivation, and the reward of parenting.  This is true on the good days and the bad. 

 

So mama's...look to Him.  Look to Him when the days are good and your heart is so full you are sure it will burst.  He has blessed you.  Look to Him when the days are long and hard and you are positive you won't make it to bedtime. He will strengthen you.  He will fill you with His love to lavish on the precious blessings in your life. In the good times and the bad, know that the design of marriage and family and parenting was God's design and it is very good. Don't give up. Don't underestimate the awesome responsibility before you. And don't feel like you have to do it alone.  He is there, every step of the way.