Posted at 06:57 AM in Home and Hospitality, Life Where We Live, Life with Kids, Yummy Food | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Just because I love being a mom...and I love being a mom to many...doesn't mean that I don't have hard days. It doesn't mean that I magically got lucky and got perfect kids. It doesn't mean that my kids immediately obey everything I say or that I never have to play referee. It doesn't mean that every day is just smiles and sparkles and it doesn't mean that there aren't times that I secretly wish all of my kids could be caged as happily as Katie cages herself (in Lucy's cage!)
It's true, I love what I do and I wouldn't change it for anything. But I do have hard days. An introverted mama like me desperately needs alone time and time for quiet -- two things not readily available in a homeschooling house with lots of little people running around. I have days where I literally have to stop, close my eyes, and breathe deeply a few times an hour just to get through the moments without raising my voice. And I don't always succeed.
There are days when I really wish I didn't care so much how I did as a mom, because if I didn't care then I wouldn't have to do all the things I do and I could spend my time doing what *I* want instead of what is best for the other people in my home. If I didn't care, I could do a lot of other very interesting and entertaining things. But I do care, and so I keep going. I keep cooking and cleaning and kissing and teaching and reminding and pouring and correcting and loving and reading and encouraging and listening and baking and modeling. And I do a LOT of praying. Most of them go something like this, "Oh Lord, give me the love and grace to get through this moment, to remember that they are just kids, and to make them feel loved no matter what they have said or done and no matter what I now need to say or do."
So yes, I have hard days. But I DO love what I do. I love it because I know I am doing something so very important. Not only am I affecting the lives of my kids, but I am affecting the lives of every single person they come into contact with. That it not something to be taken lightly. And so I go on, very imperfectly, trying to be the best mother I can be (which often means admitting and apologizing to my kids for all the ways I fall short).
And maybe on one of the really hard days, I'll have to put more thought into this "kid's cage" idea. Katie sure seems to like it!
Posted at 08:24 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Life with Kids, Parenting | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
How can Mother's Day NOT be wonderful with 10 cute little feet like these?
I am so thankful to be a mom. It is the only thing I wanted growing up and it is the only thing that kept me alive during my darkest days. It was a desire deep and strong and for the years that I thought it might not be a possibility, it was even deeper. I've known what it is to long for children. I've known what it is to think maybe it just isn't going to happen. I've known what it is to hope and pray and wait, only to start over again. I've known.
And I've also known the joy that comes with two pink little lines. I've known the joy of watching my body grow with new life. I've known the giddy expectations and dreams that play out during pregnancy. I've known the utter joy of holding a child for the first time.
Being a mom is my greatest accomplishment. But it is far from over. I've brought children into this world but I have yet to complete my task -- to raise them up to be responsible adults ready to love and serve others with every gift that God has given them. I've a long way to go, but I am feeling the joy along the way.
This year for Mother's Day, I didn't want much. I have everything I need and so much of what I want. So instead of gifts, I asked the family for two things:
1. Let's give gifts to those who need it far more than I.
2. Let me try to take some family pictures
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Rather than buy me gifts that I didn't need, I asked the children to select gifts for the kids in the care of Embracing Hope (Ethiopia). The toys will go to the new daycare that is run so that the mothers (who are trying to support their children on less than $1 a day) can go to work. Matchbox cars, a wooden tea set, an animal puzzle, and books. Can you guess who picked out what?
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My family put up with my trying to capture on (digital) film what I feel in my heart. I can never do it, but these will have to do for now...
My five little loves...
So blessed to be their mama...
And I am so thankful for my partner, best friend, and love...
Me and my newest little blessing...
The precious girl who first made me a mama...
My amazing little ladies...so many dreams!
And my handsome young men...
My little guy who makes me laugh every day...
And yet with all his silliness, he has a tender heart... (and his littlest sister has the cutest faces!)
And speaking of funny faces, what do you see?
Look closer...
Even with all their funny faces, my heart swells with thoughts of what I have been given...
And I am happy that we love deeply and laugh freely...
A very happy Mother's Day indeed.
Posted at 08:26 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Life with Kids, Parenting, Photography | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
I was sitting down today, taking a breather, and looking at some old posts that I wrote for THE DAILY DIGI (the digital scrapbooking website that I started in January 2009). I forgot about so many of the articles I wrote. It is interesting to see what was on my heart then and what is on my heart now. So much the same. A few things different.
In any case, I came across this post and smiled. This is still something I believe in so much. So, I thought I would post it here for your reading pleasure :)
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To Do or to Have (originally published at THE DAILY DIGI on March 1, 2009)
A few weeks ago, reader and fab scrapper Christine sent me a link to a blog entry she had done. I read it and knew I had at least one kindred spirit out there. Her post was called “Buying into Life” and was about the happiness gained by spending money on experiences rather than things. This is something that we have a family have chosen to do and it is interesting to hear that studies have been done on it. So this weeks The UN-digi is all about bringing some more happiness into your life…not with new stuff but with new experiences.
I remember a few years ago I was telling someone about our plans to stay in a hotel for a night, “just for fun.” She asked, quite shocked at our plans, how we had the money to do that. That was good question! Our family has a lot of things but money has never been one of them! I simply responded that we don’t usually spend money on things — we spend it on experiences. I tried to explain that with an experience, everyone gets to enjoy it, you can savor it long afterward, and it brings the family closer together. I did a poor job of stating my case, but I can assure you we had a great time at the hotel!
After reading Christine’s post and the related articles, it seems as though we are not alone in our belief that things can never take the place of experiences. Christine did a great job summarizing what she had heard and read:
Basically, the gist of it is that people who spend money on experiences are happier than people who spend money on material possessions, because:
Personally, here are the reasons our family chooses to spend time and money on experiences rather than things:
I want to touch for a minute on the last point: financial issues. I wouldn’t want someone to read this and think, “well, we don’t have much money so this won’t work for us!”
1. Yes, there are lots of expensive things you can do and places you can go. We have spent money on some expensive options (like yearly passes to Disney World, nights at hotels, weekend trips). We have made this possible by choosing to watch where our money goes. For example, I think some people were surprised that we paid to have passes to Disney World. They were expensive, but we made choices in other areas that saved a lot of money: we didn’t have cable. We had basic cell phone service with no extras. We went to Starbucks only three or four times all year…think of how much money we saved by not spending $4+ on coffee several days a week!) We chose to drive a cheap, older car. We almost never bought books or DVDs…instead we made insanely heavy use of the local library. Obviously this was not just so we could go to Disney, but these choices (and many more like them), enabled us to have money for other things.
2. There are many, many cheap or free ways to invest in experiences rather than things. Get creative in what you do and where you go. The internet is an amazing resource for finding free stuff in your community and surrounding areas. Look for things that the whole family will love. Here are some ways that our family does inexpensive things together:
I encourage you to ask yourself, “To Do or to Have?” Which is most important to you and to your family? What kinds of memories will you and your children take through life? What kinds of things do you remember most from your own childhood. Think through the answers to these questions and then takes some appropriate steps in the direction of your choice!
Posted at 05:59 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Life with Kids | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
I find it hard to believe that Caleb is seven. And then again, his birth seems like forever ago. So many things have happened in our lives since that cold May day. Since that time, we have lived in three different countries, in three different states, and in nine different houses. We've also welcomed in three more children into our family. Yes, a lot happens in seven years.
And a lot has happened in Caleb's life in these last seven years. He has grown into this amazing little guy with a HUGE heart. His creativity just oozes out of him and I really cannot wait to see what God has planned for Caleb's gifts. I know, without a doubt, that there are amazing things in store for this kid. He's different than other kids, but that's what I love about him. And I hope, more than most anything else, that I can be a mother that fosters that uniqueness and helps him find his God-given potential rather than making his childhood miserable by trying to fit him into a mold that was never meant to contain him or making him feel unloved because his thoughts, feelings, and actions don't look like those around him. He is loving, creative, passionate, and deep. And if I can teach Caleb to EMBRACE those qualities and to praise God for HIS creativity as he wove him together in my womb, then I will have succeeded as a mother.
Okay, on to lighter stuff!
Caleb's birthday was a three day affair. I do believe our family has a special knack for making birthdays last longer than most! On Saturday, we let him open his big gift. We had gotten him a huge box of legos (830 pieces) and we knew he would want to play with them. If we had waited until Sunday (his actual birthday), he would have been torn between wanting to go out with the family and wanting a chance to play. So, we avoided the conflict by letting him have them early. And boy did he play! He went right to it, following the step by step directions and ended up with an awesome fire truck in about 30 minutes. He loves searching for just the right piece and he methodically builds. It's so fun just to watch him!
Sunday was Caleb's birthday. After a requested breakfast of French toast, we headed out to the mall. His birthday activity choice was ice skating, but since ice skating is almost 50% cheaper during the week, we opted to do that on Monday (Jason took a personal day). We didn't want to do nothing on his actual big day, so he chose to go to one of the play places in town. After an hour of playing, we headed out to lunch at Pizza Hut (his choice).
On Monday, four excited kids got ready to go ice skating.
Before going, though, we had to take a few pictures. My favorite one is posted above. Doesn't he look so grown up? He also wanted one with his lego motorcycle. So Caleb.
And I snuck in for a few...
The kids have been eagerly anticipating this day since we went skating for Alaina's birthday. Going on a Monday not only meant cheaper prices, but also an almost empty rink. It was perfect for the kids, and they had a great time!
I even got on the ice -- for the first time since our honeymoon eleven years ago! (The only other times we have been since then have been when I was very, very pregnant!)
Jason is such a saint. He spends most of his time doing this...
And this...
And she does a lot of this...
But it is all worth it when a just-barely-three-year-old does a little of this...
And some of this...
It was just one of those times when I felt that if I could just breath deeper, I might be able to soak in the massive amounts of love I feel for these people...
I also felt a lot of laughter rising to the surface!
____
After skating we grabbed some lunch and then headed home. I had cupcakes to frost! Caleb's original plan was to invite "all his best friends" over for cake. The problem is, the "best friends" that he listed included four other families...that would have made 27 people in one house for cake. Plan B was that since all of these families also go to our church, we would bring cupcakes to church on Sunday afternoon (we meet as a fellowship at 4pm). Well, we got back too late on Sunday to get the 50 cupcakes frosted. So, we came up with plan C: deliver cupcakes to his "best friends" houses. But first, we enjoyed some cake as a family!
Happy Birthday, sweet Caleb. I love you far more than words can express and I feel so blessed to be your mom. I never wanted to have a son...and then I had you and Levi and I wouldn't trade having my two sons for anything in the world. You teach me every day about love, life, and fun! I love you!
____
And that, my friends, completes BIRTHDAY SEASON 2011. Seven birthdays in three months. Six birthdays in just eight weeks. Phew! We'll be back in January for the beginning of BIRTHDAY SEASON 2012!
Posted at 07:49 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Holidays, Life with Kids, Parenting | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Posted at 08:01 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Life with Kids | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Back when iPhones first came out, I got one. We were living in Orlando at the time and we would often be out all day (our work hours were mornings and then afternoon/evenings). I was thick into my online presence, both with blogging every day and with selling digital scrapbooking templates. I hated being gone all day, always worried about checking email so that my customers wouldn't be waiting for me to fix a problem. Enter iphone. I loved being able to check email every so often and then be able to relax and enjoy my family. I also loved that the phone had a decent quality camera.
When we moved to Indonesia, the phone got put away. After about a year or so, Jason's phone broke and so he got out the iphone, had it unlocked, and he has been using it ever since. It's nice being able to use an iPhone for less than $10 a month (what it costs to "top up" our card. We never actually run out of money, but they limit how long you can run on the same top up card).
I am usually carrying around my big camera, but every once in a while I leave it home and am thankful to have Jason's phone to grab. Also, Jason is often out without me and although he doesn't usually take pictures, sometimes he surprises me.
Since Jason doesn't charge his phone at the computer, we rarely download photos. But when we do, it is fun to see the randomness that emerges. So here, for your viewing pleasure, totally unedited randomness from the Phillips iPhone.
Rain pouring in through the roof of a restaurant
The rain is just sometimes INSANE here!
As are intersections!
Alaina posing at "one tree hill" -- a favorite hiking spot for staff this year. And notice the skirt and flip flops for hiking...her motto is, "If the Duggar girls can do it, so can I!"
Sometimes I am literally scared for my life as we drive behind these crazy-packed trucks. Notice the distance I ask Jason to keep from them!
One of our favorite new things in Bandung. Little things get make you happy when you have been away from little American luxuries for so long!
And the kids like that they turn their tongues different colors. And yes, Levi is wearing a Superman outfit out in public. Because, you know, it was just one of those days. One of those days where I realized that I was "that mom" -- the one who lets her daughter go out looking like this (sock muscles and all). How can I say no to "Super Sissy!"
The hotel where we have a membership is one of the most beautiful places. I just love the pool at night.
Just me and my girl
Not sure about this one. Looks like Jason and Katie took a ride into the kampung (local village). I love that Katie is holding her "elephant elly." "Elly" has become the word for "comfort item" around this house. Caleb has a green-stuffed elephant and the rest of the kids have blankies. But when Katie was little, she just thought "Elly" was the term for people special things. So now everyone has an Elly. Katie, well, she has three. She has her "big elly" (a big pink blanket), her "flower elly" (a smaller flowered blanket), and her "Elephant Elly" (pictured above).
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So how is that for some randomness today?
Posted at 08:03 AM in Life Where We Live, Life with Kids, Look at THIS! | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
It's hard to believe that it has been five years since this little guy entered our lives. Five years ago, on a Monday in Malaysia, my doctor told me that my fluid levels were too low and he induced me right then and there. Five years ago I waited for my baby to arrive, being very much surprised at the words, "It's a boy" (although we had decided to wait to find out, I was pretty convinced I was having a girl!) Five years ago little Levi Sebastian entered my life and I have never been the same.
I won't even try to come up with words for this kid. Suffice it to say, he has been a joy from day one. Never has the world seen a happier kid, an easier kid, or a sweeter kid. He has never gone through a "hard" stage (we won't talk about potty training, though) and he has been blessing us with big belly laughs since he was three months old. He is all Jason, in a little boy's body, and I couldn't love him more.
His birthday, like everyone else's, fell on a Sunday this year which meant we all got to spend the day together. He chose to go to the zoo for the day, but not before his birthday breakfast. The plan these last few months was that he wanted to go to McDonald's for breakfast (something we have only done a few times) but at the last minute decided he wanted rainbow sticky rice instead. He wanted it rainbow colored, but insisted that he did NOT want it in a rainbow shape. He also instructed me that the words, "BIRTHDAY BOY" were to be on the cake. His wish was my command!
Next, we were headed off to the zoo. I snapped a few pictures before we left.
And I had Jason snap a few (don't mind the wet hair)
And one of the little lady...
Now on to the zoo. You have to understand...Levi LOVES animals. Loves them more than anything. So it is only natural that he would want to go to the zoo (wearing one of his many animal shirts). However, let me say that this zoo is pretty sad and pathetic. There are actually a number of animals but the conditions are so horrific that in the west, I am sure that the zoo owners would be carted off to prison for animal cruelty. Thankfully, the kids still enjoyed it...along with half our city on a Sunday morning.
My kids loved being able to feed the animals. We limited it to grass though...unlike the hoards of other people feeding them peanuts, Cha-Chas (like M&M's), and even cigarettes (yes, Jason actually saw an orangutan smoking!)
At least there were some pretty sights...
After the zoo it was off to our what-now-seems-to-be-traditional birthday lunch...pizza and slurpees. Though I have to admit we have had so many birthdays that the only person who actually wanted pizza and slurpees was Levi...but he was the birthday boy so we couldn't really say no.
And I have to slip this one in since it was a special day for her too: one month!
That night, we celebrated with some friends. Levi had told me that he wanted chocolate cake with blue icing. On the morning of his birthday he said what he really wanted was animal cupcakes. I am not that talented, especially on a few hours notice. So instead, I pulled these off. They don't look great, but it was the best I could do. I'm no cookie or cake decorator! But for what they lack in looks, they make up for in taste. I use this recipe for the cookies (rolled out nice and thick!) with a powdered sugar glaze icing and they are YUM! Little zebra striped cookies on top of chocolate cupcakes with white icing...animal cupcakes.
And never have I seen a cuter or happier boy than when we were all singing to him.
Little Levi, I hope all your wishes (and more!) come true. You are such a blessing in our lives and I can't wait to see what God has planned for you. Keep smiling, keep laughing, and spread that joy to everyone you meet!
Posted at 08:23 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Holidays, Life Where We Live, Life with Kids | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)
Yesterday was the first day. The first full day of Jason being back at work and me being home with the kiddos with nothing on the to-do list (he was back on Friday and Monday as well, but I was out most of both those days!) Although I was sad for the time to come, I was also looking forward to it. I crave routine. I crave quiet. I crave not having to go anywhere. After three weeks of non-stop going, going, going I was ready for a new kind of normal.
And so yesterday, I soaked it all in. I soaked in the bliss of not having to go anywhere, of being able to just hold and feed my baby, read to my little ones, and just BE. We had time...that glorious, amazing, and often-taken-advantage-of gift of TIME. We had time for...
Playing with chalk...
Laying on the driveway and staring at the gorgeous sky and trees...
Baking banana bread (two kinds!)...
For letting little kitchen helpers make pizza dough...
For enjoying the end result of our cooking...pizza puffs...
For playing in the afternoon rain...
And for attempting to not get our dress wet by wearing rubber gloves (??!?)
I think I like the new normal...
Posted at 07:50 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Kids in the Kitchen, Life with Kids | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
It's hard to believe that little Bethany is already two weeks old. I keep hoping and dreaming that time will slow down, so that I can soak in and enjoy this sweet phase for longer. I love almost every stage that my kids go through, but there is just something so magical about those first few weeks. I love having her snuggled up on my chest, asleep and immune to the real world. I love feeling her soft skin and counting her little toes. I love those moments in the middle of the night when it is just the two of us in the dark and I get to pray over this tiny person as she eat and sleeps. This time is amazing, and far too short.
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Now to answer everyone's question: "How's it going?"
In short, things are great. The first amazing blessing is Jason being home for three weeks. The school generously gives two weeks of paternity leave and since her birth was right before Spring Break, we ended up with THREE weeks. It has been such a blessing. We still have one more week and I am going to soak it all up.
BETHANY:
Eating: The first five days were HARD...I had many moments of thinking, "I can see why people quit nursing." But I held tight to some of the best breast feeding advice i was ever given: "Do NOT quit during the first 6-8 weeks. It can take that long to truly get into a rhythm, no matter how many times you have done it before." I held onto that advice when I had plugged milk ducts with Alaina, I held onto that advice when Katie refused to eat, and I held onto that advice when Bethany just could not get latched on. We spent many hours just trying to get her started on eating. It was frustrating to say the least, but after day 5 things improved dramatically. Now she is a great nurser (other than still being super sleepy) and she is gaining weight like a champ. At thirteen days she was already birth weight + 9 oz. Go Bethany!
Sleeping: This is about ALL she did for the first two weeks, but that is pretty typical for newborns. So now that she is slowly coming out of the newborn fog, we are working on getting her sleep consistent. As it is, she sleeps for most of the day with a longer wake time (up to two hours) in the early evening. Nighttime sleep is also going well. For the first week and a half, I had to wake her up at night to feed. The last few nights, however, she has been waking up on her own. She gets up twice, eats, and goes back to bed. So, we're feeling pretty well rested over here. Our next big step is helping her have some more awake time during the day, mostly so I can ensure that she gets a full feeding.
Other: I'm going back and forth on the pacifier thing. None of our kids have ever really wanted to take one. Caleb took one for the first three months, but then spit it out and never wanted it again. Some of that might have to do with the fact that we didn't give it at night...I've heard too many nightmare stories of parents getting up 4+ times a night just to replace pacifiers. No thank you. Bethany seems to really enjoy the pacifier and I am happy to give it, especially when she is awake and doesn't quite know what to do with herself. But I am really trying to limit it at naps and I don't do it at all at night. This is new territory for me (a baby that loves a paci), so I am just wading through it.
ME: I'm feeling great. The recovery from the birth took a bit longer this time, but for the last week or so I have been feeling so much better. I LOVE being able to up and doing things for my family again. Cooking meals, doing dishes, and just playing with the kids is actually FUN again. I'm sleeping well (though still more tired than I remember being with other kids), enjoying my family, and thankful for this blessing.
JASON: Jason is doing great...being a wonderful dad and helping me around the house. Having him around has really helped me be able to spend the time with Bethany that I need and want. As a thank you, I let him blissfully sleep through nightime feeds.
THE OTHER KIDS: They are all adjusting wonderfully. They love Bethany and are totally understanding about the time I have to spend feeding her. They come to the bed and sit with me, read books, or just hang out. Alaina loves playing the little mother -- picking her up, changing her diaper, and holding her. Caleb asks me "How is Bethany doing?" all the time and he often comes to me and says, "Where is my sweet little Bethany?" Levi just keeps telling me how cute she is and Katie just likes being the big sister. I've said it before, but watching sibling relationships grow and flourish is my FAVORITE part of parenting. It's not always easy and it takes a lot of training, but when the kids really love each other and support each other and build one another up...it's totally worth it.
And now, for some more of my favorite photos from the first two weeks. There are a lot, so be warned.
My first look at Bethany...
So glad Jason got this one...I love it.
Bethany and I getting to really meet for the first time
This one will forever make us laugh...the hospital labeled our child with tape. Is this in case we forget which child is ours??
Big sibling photos...
Introducing Bethany to Grandma Phillips via Skype...
Snoozing her way through her first real outing (Pizza Hut) at three days old...
When I looked into the backseat on our way to Jakarta, this is what I saw (Katie and Bethany). I have a very similar picture of Alaina and Caleb from when they were little.
Bethany's carriage ride through Taman Mini cultural park at five days old...
Taking pictures at the hotel (I just love big hotel windows!)
Snoozing under a cabana at the pool...
Hanging out with Alaina...
All my girls together...
Snoozing...what she does best.
In her makeshift bed at the hotel
On my bed at the hotel...
On my bed at home...
With Dad (he calls it bonding)...
With Lucy...and don't worry, we don't really let our baby sleep with our dog. I just saw Lucy sleeping on the big pillow and said something to Jason about them matching (all the brown). So we took a quick photo opp...
Another one of my two baby girls...
Caleb loves this one...he says, "She's sticking her tongue out at us!" Sorry for the grainy photo...we took it at a wedding when it was almost completely dark out.
Kisses from Katie...
Time with Daddy at the playground...
At one week...
First real bath...
And me and my little girl...
It's been an amazing two weeks...here's to a lifetime more!
Posted at 07:35 PM in A Few Thoughts from Me, Life with Kids | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)